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Great American Spam  
   

Dear American Consumer,

Are you tired of working for that boss of yours? Do you resent that the company you work for takes YOUR efforts and makes themselves rich? Do something for yourself, for a change. You deserve it! Using our newly developed time-proven methods, you can become RICH immediately, while doing absolutely NOTHING. We have carefully developed a methodology using new time-honored methods to cause riches to flow in. It will only cost you $25.00 to get rich. You can afford that, or you could borrow it. It is an investment in your future. Send your kids to college...at no cost. Drive ANY car you want, and trade it in each year for a newer model, all with no car payments. Have free appliances delivered to your door. Get a new house, or houses. All this could be yours. Just send $25.00 to the address below. But first, listen to a few testimonials:

Bernice, a mother of 12: "We were very poor! We just barely got enough food to eat since that bum of a husband left. I borrowed the $25.00 from my in-laws and sent it in. Within three days I was rich! I now drive a new Rolls Royce mini-van, have three houses, all the clothes we can wear, we're finally gaining weight, and my kids go to a private school."

John, an alcoholic and drug user: "I used to live on the street. I found this ad on a computer I stole, and sent the $25.00 in. Within a week, I was completely off drugs and alcohol...WITH NO WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS, I now have all the money I could ever want. I drive a new $100,000 HUMMER, have a new house on the beach, and have gained the respect of all my new friends."

Lilly, an old actress: "I used to be popular in movies. For the last few years, I have had no offers. I was down to my last $50.00, so I thought I would send the money in before it was too late. I was surprised when I woke up rich two days later. I look 40 years younger. The movie studio called me up and offered me the leading role in the new StarshipTitanic movie. It was a dream come true. I recommend it!"

Digital Darrell, an aspiring photographer: "I used to be forced to use Canon camera equipment, and only had one lens. I sent in the money, and now I can afford all the Nikon cameras I want. Plus, I'm buying hundreds of new Nikkor lenses. I can handhold a 600mm lens at 1/15th of a second. I'm traveling the world taking pictures of everything. And to beat it all, I lost weight without drinking more SlimFast. Man...I'm glad I sent in that money. It was the best $25.00 I've ever spent."


And look at these before/after pictures of Bernie who sent in the $25.00 within three days of getting this ad:

As you can see from the testimonials above ANYONE can become RICH and MORE BEAUTIFUL using this newly-developed time-honored method. Most people that send in the $25.00 become rich within a week, although admittedly some have taken as long as a month to become wealthy. In any case...don't worry about a thing! This is guaranteed. If you do not become satisfactorily RICH your money will be completely refunded.

But wait...there's more!

If you act now, you will receive the following benefits in addition to being filthy RICH:

MUCH IMPROVED ATTITUDE.
HAVE LESS TENSION AND ANXIETY.
RELATIONSHIPS WITH FAMILY IMPROVED.
SLEEP THROUGH THE ENTIRE NIGHT.
HAVE GREATER ENERGY.
COMPULSIVE EATING DECREASED.
TAKE BETTER PICTURES.
NO LONGER DRINK CAFFEINE THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
NO LONGER SLEEP FOR HOURS IN THE AFTERNOONS.
CRAVINGS FOR SWEETS DECREASED.
NO LONGER NEED READING GLASSES.
LESS FREQUENT HOT FLASHES.
ABLE TO FULLY UNDERSTAND COMPUTERS.


As you can see, it is well worth $25.00 to get all these amazing things. But, there is a limited time before this offer expires. Send the money to:

Ben Dover
123 Wegotcha Street
Uranidiot, TN 00000

We can't wait until you join us in being RICH beyond your wildest dreams! Don't delay...send the money now!

Disclaimer:
If you received this in error or would like to be removed from our list: Please reply with REMOVE in the subject line. This is NOT SPAM since we gave you an easy way to remove yourself. In fact, if you reply to this e-mail, we will come over and remove you personally.

   

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